Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A recovered sugar addict on a mission. What side are you on?

Maybe it is because I am now a mother and I get to try and make "right' something that I feel was "wrong" with how I grew up but I am on a mission.  To do what? To educate and stretch my daughter's palate. I feel like I am guarding her mouth like a protective mother bear because I know how hard it is to be addicted to junk food, sugar, fast food and too much food by the age of 5. By the time I was in 3rd grade I remember making my own lunch which was a bag of ding dongs, corn chips, baloney on white bread with mayonnaise and potato chips smashed inside of it for a little extra crunch.  Oh, maybe a diet TAB to go with it.  Then I would take the change out of my dad's pant pockets so that I could buy ice cream at school. I was like a drug addict always looking for my next fix. The good and the bad news was, I didn't have to look very far. The cupboards in my house were loaded with junk food.  We would start our day off with hot fresh donuts. My dad would drive to Peter's bakery every single morning and bring home large pink boxes closed with the white string that we would tear open hoping to get first pick of the warm breakfast treats. There really wasn't any need to fight for what we wanted because there was always more than enough and some left over just in case we wanted to feast more after we came home from school.
I am the one in the middle at the age of 12 my sister Sylvia behind me and my cousin.

There were no rules about food in my home. My dad grew up poor. He would tell the story of being so poor that he would have 10 cents and it could either buy him a donut or a coffee but not both. I guess he was celebrating every day that now he could make sure we had all the donuts we could ever want.
Our home was filled with real food too. My mom was a great cook. She had mexican restaurants that we grew up working. Food was everywhere all the time and in mass quantities with no rules whatsoever. If I had a headache my dad would say, go eat something. If I was tired or didn't feel well, "go eat something"
I remember being living with such a feeling of being out of control unable to stop myself from overloading on food. I was like an alcoholic living in a bar, a cocaine addict living with a dealer, a girl trapped in a nightmare wishing she could get out of the hell she was living and yet not really wanting to.
Now as my daughter is growing up, she is 8 months and we have started to introduce her to food. I want to do it "right" and already it is not easy.  How many boxes of baby cookies or baby yogurt or baby cereal has sugar in it and we unknowingly start them young developing the taste buds for sugary foods. Of course they are going to put sugar in the kid's foods, that way "fussy" children will eat. Who doesn't like sweet food. Our palate jumps for joy when that white crystal dances on our taste buds. It is euphoric but it doesn't mean it's harmless.
I only have a few years to develop my daughters taste for a variety of things and make sure she doesn't get addicted like I did to sweets, junk food, or the typical America toddler food, chicken fingers, french fries, soda, jello, cheese fish, cheerios, pizza, cupcakes, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, happy meals or by old time favorites of ding dongs and twinkies! I know that at least in these first few years while she is at home with us she won't eat these things because we don't eat these things but soon enough she will be having play dates and sleep overs and school parties and birthday parties and there will be the "normal" excessive amounts of candy and junk food all around.
I feel like my sister who worries about her teenage son drinking because everyone else does it and it's a "normal' part of your teenage years to drink too much.  I know how she feels now.
I just want to get her off to a good start and just like probably every other parent in the world, we want to do it better for our kids.
I remember when I was pregnant sitting in Starbucks and overhearing a conversation between a couple talking about how ridiculous it was that a "friend" of theirs had never given their child sugar and how ridiculous they thought she was as they fed their daughter some sweet treat from the new all American breakfast stop, Starbucks.

This is not going to be easy. Mothers are going to think I am obsessive. Her classmates might laugh when I bring a healthy snack to school parties or pack her lunch with untraditional goodies that won't look like the candy bar, potato chip, white bread box lunch everyone else is eating. There will be peer pressure to go to fast food, Chucky cheese or who know's what other foods are out there or maybe I will have made friends with other revolutionary mothers like me who don't want to load their kids up with sugar, fast food and processed meats for meals.  I know I may seem extreme but It just seems that way because the average American diet is extremely unhealthy so I am the one that will most likely look like the crazy health nut mother.

I am intending that by the time my daughter is old enough to choose her own food she will have developed a palate that yearns for fresh, real, alive, nutritious and life enhancing foods simply because she grew up with it. For now all I can do is give those little tiny taste buds as much good stuff as I can and pray that good wins over processed in the end!

It is a revolutionary act to be healthy in this day and age and I am willing to be a revolutionary!

I hope you join me!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Once again, the lesson is HONOR YOUR FEELINGS!

I was thinking today about all the people in my life who help me in so many ways and thought of calling them my dream team. They are people who are experts in their field and in some way help me achieve my dreams, help me evolve, grow, develop and take action in my life.  My dream team changes over the years but I always one.  
A couple of weeks ago I called Kat,(She is an empath and energy worker) definitely a member of the dream team, to get some insight as to why I kept repeating an issue around money.  Her message was very clear. She said "You have to honor your feelings, honor your knowing and say no when you need to. You can be empathetic but be more detached".  These were the key messages. It was a short phone call but it was exactly what I needed to hear.  Since then I have been looking back at my day and making a mental list of any place I didn't honor my feelings.  A few days after I had this call with Kat I was watching Oprah, (Oh yeah, Oprah is on my dream team too.)  She was interviewing Fergie and showing a clip of her talking to Dr. Phil and he said to her, 'you are addicted to approval", gulp...I am too.  That is the reason I don't speak up, I don't always say what I need, or really want. I get scared that someone won't like me. It is so childish when I think about it yet no matter how childish it sound when I say it, I do it.  So in an effort to evolve, mature and change I am going to keep a daily list.  I eventually won't have to keep a list because instead of not honoring my feelings I will eventually honor them and speak up.  In an effort to stay conscious and aware of where I am and am not I am making a daily list.

I will be fairly vague because It is not about the other person, it is about me.
My baby sister was doing something I didn't like and I didn't say and mentally said I was going to drop it and ended up telling Kellen about it anyway.
Someone I do business with asked me to do something I didn't think was fair and I did it and ended up holding it against them.
Someone lied to me and I let it slide and didn't tell them I knew they were lying
I didn't speak up when I needed to in regards to needing personal time

I did have some breakthroughs
I did ask for everything I wanted in a business deal ( not sure yet if I got it)
I reached out for help on a project to two people and was ok with getting a No. I got 1 no but 1 YES!
I wrote an email to someone who I was upset with and told the whole truth
I said no to some people who asked for my time and I simply said I didn't have the time

These are just a few things that recently happened and I am being general but as they come up I will share with you what they are in more details as an exercise to stay present and get that it is way too often that I don't trust my feelings, honor my feelings or speak up when I need something because I am addicted to approval.  I ready to be done with that. I know I have said it before, in fact it was the very first blog post.  One thing I have learned that has been so beneficial from my dream team member Lauren Zander is getting your negative traits and outing them is the way to get rid of them.  I will be more specific in the future but this is a good start for now.

The other day before class a student said that she was realizing that she loses weight for other people. When she is going to do something like a photo shoot or an appearance she gets strict and then afterwards she is not as careful and it made her sad to think that she was losing the weight for others and not for herself. I spent so many years doing that! 

We hired a new babysitter and she begins on Monday.  Kellen and I were talking about the things that are really important to us that we learned from babysitter number 1 that we have to be specific and clear about what is important to us.  Here we go again! This time I will speak up! 

Hope you are honoring your feelings! If not, practice doing your own list for the next month or so. If you need coaching reach out to www.handelgroup.com for some coaching. 

If you want to reach out to anyone on my dream team the ones I am working with now
Lauren Zander www.Handelgroup.com
Michael Moschel, working on my body and especially my knee, www.painandinjuryresolution.com 

Have a great weekend!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The most important thing you must do before you die...

"The most important thing to do before you die is live!" Simon Sinek author of It starts with Why

Yesterday I kicked off the Workin it Out event with this quote as a reminder that so many of us after the age of 30 are already dying.  How many of you believe that it is downhill from where you are, that you could never look better, feel better or enjoy life more than you did when you were younger? How many of you are upgrading your thinking, eating and exercise habits and challenging yourself to get better with age?  There is no amount of money, success, beautiful clothes or nice cars that will replace a healthy body.  Our body knows how to heal and regenerate itself but you have to treat it well, feed it well and exercise it regularly.  We all know it is not easy to make changes but when we do we feel in control of our destiny. Illness and disease is NOT a normal part of aging, it is a normal part of abusive habits and indulging in harmful thoughts and food.  I hope you will be inspired to join the Sati Life community detox this month. Whether you choose to do Dr. Lipman's REMOVE detox or anything else, I encourage you to focus on removing harmful foods from your diet habits. Here is the update from yesterday's event.

Yesterday at the Workin it out event Dr. Lipman inspired us all to be a part of the wellness revolution. He reminded us how hard it is to be healthy when everything around us, from TV commercials to magazines are promoting either drugs or unhealthy products. He started by letting us know what we should focus on removing from our diets:
1. "Sugar is the devil" Avoid it. It is more addicting than heroine
2. Gluten. It causes inflammation in most people
3. Factory meat. Choose only organic, farm raised
4. Dairy. Calcium is over promoted. Greens have enough calcium
5. Caffeine
6. Alcohol
(Get more info at www.elevenelevenwellness.com )

The first few days you will not feel good. Most of us are addicted to to these drugs and it is part of the process.  it only takes a few days to get to the other side and just stick with it.

What we eat, think and do is what determines the experience of our life.  We have complete control over what goes in and comes out of our mouth and by being conscious and taking responsibility and making conscious choices we can effect positive change in our own lives and inspire those around us to do the same.

If you are not feeling good, if you have not been taking control of your own health, mood, attitude and life, this is a great place to start. If you have been, why not raise the bar. You can't stay the same. You are either moving forward or backwards. Keep making positive changes and you will keep getting better with age instead of worse.

Dr. Lipman says nothing ages us more than sugar and it is the first thing to eliminate from your diet.  At one point he took questions and someone asked about Agave as a sugar substitute and to my surprise he said Agave is basically high fructose corn syrup and no, it is not a good replacement for sugar. Gulp! Ok out it goes. He recommends stevia and xylitol if you want to sweeten something.

What is unique about the REMOVE detox is not only what it requires you take out of  your diet but what he has you add back in. The supplements that come with the REMOVE package help the body eliminate the toxins and helps restore health.  I just finished the two week REMOVE detox and now I am about to begin doing the next level REVIVE.  My personal goal is to do all three levels of his detox system and take the next 6 weeks to reignite my body's ability to heal and restore itself to radiant health.

I encourage you to take this month as an entry point to healthier living and encourage others to do the same.  Many of us are doing Dr. LIpman"s REMOVE detox and you can purchase it on elevenelevenwellness.com.  Dr. Lipman, his wellness coach Kerry and I will be leading a weekly conference call on Wednesday nights at 8pmET.  You can ask questions and get any support you need.  Please also join Dr. Lipman's facebook page and for daily support you can join "workin it out with Patricia Moreno" and post your questions and brag about your success so you inspire others to stay in the game. With community support anything is possible. Be a part of the Sati community wellness revolution and radiate health!

Anyone can join the call, it is free and highly recommended. Whether you have already started the detox or considering it, please participate. The call in number for Wednesday night calls is 218-936-4700/ access code 42016

Revolutionaries Join together!
with love,


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Are you willing to do WHATEVER it takes to feel great?

How do you choose what to eat each day? Are you a calorie counter, a "eat whatever is convenient'? A vegetarian? A raw foodie? A "on a diet, off a diet" person?

When you eat something do you ask yourself, "Will this make me fat"?  "How will I feel afterwards? "Is this good for me"?

I used to be a "WHATEVER make me lose weight" person. And I do mean "WHATEVER".  The problem with that was the "WHATEVER" was usually a quick fix, unsustainable way and it eventually meant I had to stop it. Then what happened what since I hadn't changed my habits of overeating or bingeing or over exercising, eventually I was back to feeling miserable and out of control.

Once I changed my goal from WHATEVER it takes to loose weight to WHATEVER it takes to feel great then my old ways no longer worked.  Bingeing, purging, extreme over exercising and diets of any kind may have led to short term weight loss but it also has the downside of depression and a feeling of lack of control, just to name a few.

Feeling great is, a healthy weight, a healthy body and a healthy mind by eliminating harmful thoughts, harmful food and over or under exercising as well as adding beneficial thoughts, beneficial food and beneficial exercise.

After hearing Dr. Frank lipman speak I reached out to him and told him I wanted to do a Sati community detox to inspire people to change their focus from simply losing weight to improving over all health and well-being and reminding them they can have it all this way. He enthusiastically said yes and I enthusiastically invite you to participate. You have the rare opportunity to be supported for 4 weeks by Dr. Lipman and myself with a weekly call on Wednesday nights, Dr. Lipman’s community website at elevenelevenwellness.com and on facebook on my “Workin it Out with Patricia Moreno” community page.

I know so many people who are constantly going up and down in their weight, feel sluggish and tired, have a hard time breaking old habits, go up in down in their weight or can’t achieve their desired weight.  By changing the way you think about food, your health and your body you can achieve long-term health and weight-loss, really feel great and live a life you love in a body you love.

I just finished my first week of the REMOVE detox and except for a headache the first couple of days it has been easy.  I love that along with 3 shakes a day you eat two light meals. I lost 4 lbs the first week and after 4 days I felt amazing.

If you are in the area I encourage you to join us on May 14th for the kick off event at Equinox 19th from 2-4 pm. We will begin with an intenSati workout led by me followed by an inspiring talk by Dr. Lipman. Whether or not you want to do the REMOVE detox it will certainly inspire you to make some positive changes.
If you are not in the area I encourage you to participate anyway and join the community pages for support.
You will have our support for one month so even if you start the REMOVE detox afterwards you will still have a couple of weeks of support from us to keep you in the game.

If you are going to invest your time, your energy, your money and your attention on losing weight, invest it in something sustainable. Take this opportunity to benefit from the power of a united community and feed your health, your wellness and a healthy mind. Yes! You can have it all.  Will you do whatever it takes to feel great?

Go to Satilife.com/events to register for the May 14th event and  purchase the REMOVE detox on elevenelevenwellness.com.

Together we can!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Just feel the feelings and don't eat the cupcake!

Day 7 REMOVE detox cleanse, halfway there! I lost 4lbs and feeling better than before!

I haven't had a cupcake in a very long time but today it was all I wanted. I was sad this morning. I woke up and all was well and then after a discussion with someone, I won't share the details because it involves another person, I was left feeling sad, disappointed and uncertain about what to do.  I was on my vespa, driving into the city to go and teach my class and as I drove down 9th avenue all I wanted to do was to stop at Billy's bakery and buy a cupcake.  I was so present to how the sadness I was feeling was calling for a cupcake. If I wasn't present I would have been certain I needed to have a cupcake. It didn't make the wanting it any less, I was just present to it.  

I made it past Billy's but the challenge didn't end there. I got to the gym early and decided to go in and get a tea at the bakery next door, yeah right! First I reached for a banana, I had it in my hand then remembered that bananas are on the "not allowed" list. I was getting out and then started asking about the cupcakes.  Ugh I actually bought it and then threw it in the garbage after I sat down to answer emails and got an email from one of the leaders saying she had been sad and depressed last night and had to battle not eating sugar and felt proud she had won! Gulp! Phew. I wrote her back and thanked her for being strong and actually helping me!  

What was really interesting today was how clear it was to me that the sad wanted the cupcake. Hunger doesn't ask for a cupcake it asks for real food and since I hadn't had that feeling in a while, being on the detox has actually really helped with the sugar cravings but this was so not a physical craving but an emotional craving.

It led me to remember how sad I used to be as a little girl and how I kept trying to stuff my sadness with junk food. I didn't know it then but looking back it is all very clear to me. 

It turns out this REMOVE detox is much more than a physical detoxing but an emotional one as well. Even though I am so different from who I was years ago there are clearly still some emotions in the fabric of my being.  Between Dr. Lipman and Michael Moschel I am sure my physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing will have a deep impact and positive impact on me in so many ways. I can feel it already.

One of my goals career wise it to inspire people to think right, eat right and exercise right which leads to living right. Right meaning causing no harm to oneself or anyone else. When we stop causing harm we are present to the love, peace and joy that is always there. I am on a mission to cause a happy wellness revolution so that as a society we are not so obsessed with simply getting thin at any cost but instead establishing sustainable habits. 

I hope you will join me and Dr. Lipman and do the 14 day REMOVE detox. We are kicking it off on May 14th at the next "Workin it Out with Patricia Moreno" event. 1 hour workout 1 hour lecture by Dr. Lipman.  If you are unsure you want to do the detox come and hear him speak then decide. If you are already sure make sure you purchase the REMOVE detox asap. You can buy it at a reduced price on Gilt.com until midnight 5/5.  Dr. Lipman, his staff and I will also be supporting your with a weekly 30 minute call just in case you have any questions.

In the meantime, join my page on facebook called "Workin it out with Patricia Moreno" Post your goals and get support in taking radical action.  This month Lauren Zander creator of the Handel Method will be with me coaching you to stay in action. Top 3 action takers will get a free coaching session with either Lauren or myself, your choice!

Think right, eat right, exercise right and live right!
No cupcakes for me today!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 3 of the REMOVE detox and more tears and more questions.

Saturday April 30th 2-4 Follow your bliss Workin it Out event with Lauren Zander. A few spots left! You really, really don't want to miss this! Register at satilife.com

Today is day 3 of my 14 day REMOVE detox. I am hoping I will inspire you to join the Sati Life Community detox beginning with a workout and a kickoff talk by Dr. Frank Lipman. If you want to participate register at Satilife.com then order you REMOVE detox at elevenelevenwellness.com.

Today I woke up feeling a hungry but after I had my first shake of the day I felt good. I started with a hot cup of water with lemon, then I had my shake.  I still had a bit of a headache and I felt kind of foggy but nothing too bad. I keep reminding myself that if I am having a headache I must be doing the right thing. If I didn't have anything to detox out of my system I wouldn't feel this way. I am doing this to detox so this is part of the process.  Dr. Lipman is that true?

I had to teach a dance class this morning so I got to the gym an hour early so I could get a sweat going before class. I rode the bike for 45 minutes and did a breathing meditation that helped a lot. During class  my body felt a little tired so I just took it easy. After class I took a 20 minute steam and meditated again to visualize my inner body being revitalized. I had an 11:30am bodywork appointment to get to and I was running late so I didn't drink my second shake. I am supposed to have an early morning and a midmorning shake then lunch. I was late.

My 11:30am appointment was with Michael Moschel, the bodyworker I have been seeing who has been an amazing gift. After working with him my body feels 10 years younger and my achy knees are 80% better. I am actually enjoying dancing again. This is huge! Another reason I love working with him is that he facilitates the removal of toxins from the tissues and old stored emotions. This particular session was deeper than usual.  I cried in the session and I could feel changes happening from a physical, emotional and spiritual level. It reminded me how our years of fear, pain and sadness are still effecting us years later and it's time to let it all go, detox and remove.

None of this process is comfortable but it all feels deeply necessary. I keep thinking about how many of us learn to live with pain, teach ourselves to be numb so that we won't feel the emotional and physical pain and in doing so we cut ourselves off to pleasure as well. Like I said, none of this is a comfortable or an easy process but what keeps me motivated is I know it is leading me to being able to experience more joy than before and this is my true goal in life. I want to know more health, happiness and peace of mind than I have ever before so I can achieve what I am here to achieve.

Today I could feel myself resisting the process. I could hear myself complaining, blaming, judging, criticizing others, the situation and myself.  Since I had just finished a meditation practice I felt as if I could watch myself think. At one point in class, I stood off to the side and laughed at the monster, bratty, complaining, criticizing thoughts I was having. It didn't hook me. I didn't have to try and change them, I didn't believe them. I felt like they were simply all the toxins being exorcised from my insides. This was much easier to do today then it was the first day. I think partly because the first day I was not expecting to feel so grumpy but today I was willing to be uncomfortable and even expected it.  I was ready for those little monsters to pop up and try to convince me to give up.

My friend is also doing the REMOVE detox with me and having a difficult time. We emailed Dr. Lipman and asked a few questions and a few simply words of encouragement from him went a long way. He simply gave us both a few suggestions and ended with "hang in there" and it made me feel like this is normal, it is part of the process, don't freak out and just stay in the game.

Tonight I have a party to go to and I will not be drinking or eating. I am having my meal at home before I go so that I don't even have to worry about what kind of food they will have.

I am wondering Dr. Lipman
1. Can you estimate how long the headaches last?
2. How important is it to have the two shakes before lunch? Today I had a shake, meal, shake, shake, meal.
3. Can I expect that if I follow this program I will lose weight?

If you are considering starting the Sati Community REMOVE cleanse I suggest you start preparing your body now but cutting down or eliminating coffee, alcohol and sugar. This way you will ease into it.

Exercise your power to choose, right thinking, right eating and right exercising. If not now, when?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Feeling crabby and just dealing with it. 4/28/11

This Saturday, April 30th 2-4 at Equinox 19th street, you are invited to "Workin it Out" with Patricia Moreno and Lauren Zander. 1 hour workout 1 hour inspiration. The topic is "follow your bliss".  Lauren has been coaching me for about 9 years and much of what I teach is infused with her methodology. Please join us for a powerful session. Members and non-members welcome. Satilife.com

Yesterday I started a 14 day cleanse. It is a cleanse developed by Dr. Frank Lipman who I heard speak at Urban Zen,  hosted by Donna Karen. Every time I hear about how many people are suffering from illness and die from diseases that can be healed and completely avoided with right thinking, right eating and right exercise, I get excited about what I am doing and I ask myself what more can I do? What am I not doing?
I decided after hearing him speak that I wanted to inspire the Sati community to do a cleanse and the Dr. Lipman was who I wanted to work with. I sent him an email, he responded the same day, we picked a date for him to come and speak at the next "Workin it out" event on May 14th.  Yes! Very exciting. So in preparation I am doing the cleanse myself. The next 14 days I will be updating you on how it is going. My goal is to get at least 200 people on the cleanse. Just in case you are wondering, I am not making any money on it, I am doing it because I know so many people can benefit from it.  The benefit is more than the  health benefits of weight loss, more energy, reduced cravings...it is also about self-discipline. I know many people shy away from that but it is through self-discipline that we can get ourselves to face our fears, be with discomfort so that we can get to a healthier and happier way of life.  Millions of people know what to do but can't get themselves to take action and willingly be uncomfortable.

Today Day 2
What is my personal reason WHY? I was on so many fertility drugs I want to clean out my system. I want to have the energy to do all the things that are important to me, play with my daughter, dance, workout, teach, travel and live instead of thinking I am getting older and older and the aches and pains I feel are part of life.  I am calling that BS! Yes I am getting older and Yes my body knows how to heal itself and regenerate itself. I want to see who I am when I raise my bar. I believe that if my body is radiantly healthy I will be able to inspire others to take it on as well.

I actually started the cleanse feeling pretty cocky. My thoughts were "I eat clean. I am at my goal weight. I don't eat meat. I hardly eat sugar. I drink 1 espresso in the morning. I don't drink alcohol!" This will be easy! Two hours into it I started to feel grumpy. Yesterday by 11am, just when I went to go teach class I felt myself getting annoyed and irritable.  I felt a headache coming on and I was surprised that already I was going through caffeine withdrawals.

I was teaching class and I was snappy, and grumpy. I was snappy and I wanted everyone to change so I would feel better.  I was saying things like, "if you don't want to do the class as it is designed you should take another class". Now I have said it before but with a totally different tone. I was actually blaming them for my headache and my discomfort. It seemed like it was everyones fault I was feeling this way.

I could hear myself trying to figure out how I was going to get off of the cleanse. No one will know if I just have a cup of coffee. I wasn't hungry just irritable.  I wanted to have things I don't even normally want to get out of this discomfort, a glass of wine, some junk food. Everything I don't normally want I really wanted.  Interestingly all the things that when life gets hard I would go to in order to ease the pain a little.  The very thing that is causing the headache is the very thing i want to have to ease the pain. Hello! ok, I will just hang here and see what happens.

Today is day 2 and I thought I would feel better but I don't. I still have a headache but I am determined to get through the 13 days. I did a light workout, I took a hot shower and a steam, drinking mint tea and lots of water with lemon. I want to get to the other side. If I want others to do it, I have to be able to do it myself.

I was preparing for Saturday's event with Lauren right before class yesterday and it was a perfect conversation. She was talking about how our bliss is on the other side of the fear, the doubt the discomfort and most people want the result but are not willing to do what it takes. The bigger the fear, the more you have to work for "it", the more proud and alive you feel afterwards. Ok I guess I am in for feeling AWESOME!

My work today is to just be a yes to it all. A yes to the result and a yes to the process to get there.
I will keep  you posted. If you are intrigued and want to join the community cleanse you can check out the details at satilife.com/events. Dr Lipman will be talking on May 14 at Equinox 19th street and the community cleanse for those who have bought their REMOVE detox package in advance will begin on May 16 so you will be cleansed for memorial day.

More later!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. Reality check!

I teach about the impact our words have on ourselves and others. IntenSati is a workout that combines cardio exercise with spoken positive affirmations. We literally practice exercising our power to choose what we think, say and do. Sati means mindfulness and the foundation of the practice promotes living with awareness of the choices you make. This blog entry reminds me how much practice it really takes to stay conscious.

I was talking to a mom the other day and she was showing me a picture of her child and said, "he looks like an idiot in this picture. Then she went on to dote over him as I did when I showed pictures of my beautiful baby girl. When I left I was sad, sad that she obviously loves her child, obviously and yet a word like "idiot" flows out of her mouth in reference to her most beloved.

Before you gasp and ask yourself how anyone could possibly...check yourself.  There are so many things we think, say and do unconsciously. It is a habit we learned early on in life and it is so natural to us that we can't even see the harm.

I had another situation happen to when someone flipped me off. I had a moment of shock then found myself chalking it up to "oh it's just her".  I didn't take it personally but I did have a judgement about her. Even though I believe she did it playfully it stuck in my mind and although I say it didn't bother me, here I am writing about it. What do you think about it? How would it make you feel? What would it take for you to flip someone off? Some might laugh and think it is funny, others might gasp and think "I would never!!"

My first reaction was "how could you? I would never!!" Reality check. I do say things that I wouldn't want anyone to hear. I think things I wouldn't want anyone to know about. I say things I wish I wouldn't have said. I do things that hurt peoples feeling's.

Those two things felt harsh. It made me realize again the powerful impact our words and actions have on others, on our loved ones, on ourselves. It left me feeling sad. How often have I said things about or to the ones I love that hurt them?

How many things do we say out of old habits that actually don't represent who we really are? How often do we speak to ourselves in a deeply harming way? How would you feel if someone you really loved called you stupid, fat, ugly, dumb, loser, lazy or swore at you in language I won't even write here. Even the short list of words I listed here are enough to deeply hurt.  How many of these kinds of things do you say to yourself?

I went back and forth with myself about writing this post but I wanted to write it because I am hoping that it awakens you in a way that will help you get present to how deeply impacting words are. Yes, you may know it intellectually but can you stay aware and present to it enough to catch yourself?

 Look around you, what music do you listen to? Is there vulgar language in it and you listen and just shrug it off as just music. How do you speak to yourself? How do you speak to your loved ones? How do you speak about your loved ones? What movies do you watch? What language do you use when you are frustrated, caught in traffic, you don't get what you wanted when you wanted it, how you wanted it?

As I see my daughter look at the world and simply soak everything in like a sponge it makes me pay attention more than ever before. She is taking in as much information as she can. From wanting to taste the food we eat, to listening to the music we listen to, hearing and watching the TV we watch and most of all taking in how we treat each other. I feel I have become hypersensitive to all of it.  I know that I can try to influence her positively but trying is a waste of time. It is like trying to feed her healthy food if I am eating junk or smoking and hoping she doesn't become a smoker, or drinking and hoping she doesn't become a drinker or lying and telling her that lying is bad. She is only 7 months old and already I know that her little brain is soaking everything up and it will be the foundation of her entire life.

The blessing in all of this is that when I see someone else do something that is hurtful it reminds me to check myself.  I ask myself, what hurtful things am I doing unconsciously as well?  It all fuels my passion for living consciously, upgrading my personal habits, being honest, choosing what I eat, watch and listen to.

The most important thing I remind myself of is that when we are loving, appreciating, celebrating, giving and or listening we can't be harming ourselves or others. It is only when we are in a state of fear, worry, anger, resentment, hate or negativity that birth more negativity and harm. By devoting myself to being mindful, loving, compassionate, honest and authentic I will be doing the best I can, just like everyone else is doing the best they can. We all have the perfect parents, are the perfect parents, friends, lovers, ex lovers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, teachers and students.

When someone says something hurtful to you remember not to take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. When you feel hurt, angry, upset or sad check in with yourself to notice what you are saying  to yourself that is hurtful. And last but not least, thank those that come into our lives and challenge us, wake us up in someway. They are gifts.

Before you go to bed say these words, "I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you". Think of anyone you may have caused harm to including yourself.

Exercise your power to choose what you eat, say and do.
I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.

I am excited to be doing monthly events at Equinox called "Workin it Out" with Patricia Moreno. The next event is April 30th from 2-4. The topic is follow your bliss and take radical action. My co-leader for this event is Lauren Zander, creator of the Handel Method. She has taught me so much about the power of the truth. It is a rare opportunity for me to lead with her. I hope you will be there! Sign up at satilife.com. It is one hour of Sati and one hour inspiration. There will be a peacelovewold trunk show and a gift of tea donated by the tea set.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Do less and achieve more. Really?

First an update on my vegan lifestyle change. I love it. I am so happy I have made the switch.  I have been juicing every day.  If I can't get a green juice I have spicy lemonade, lemon, water, cayenne pepper and stevia or agave. I also found a great bar that I love for my midday snack or when I am running around.  A student of mine brought it to me because she loved it and I reached out to rawcrunchbar.com kathy and Ross the creators, to see if they would offer you a discount because I love them so much. So if you want to try them, you can go online and order and use Satilife discount code for a 10% discount. You can also find them at some whole foods stores.

I also heard Kris Carr, author of Crazy Sexy Diet speak and hearing her story is enough to really keep anyone motivated. If you haven't read her book or heard her speak, I highly recommend it. I hope to go and see her live at Urban Zen this Thursday night in NYC.

Update on my knee, I am thrilled to say I am actually pain free and I didn't even think it would be possible. Now this is seriously only the beginning but I want to remind you that if you have any physical pain in your body that you think cannot be healed to think again. Ask for guidance, open your mind to the possibility that you can find an answer and start looking around. I gave the name and info of Michael Moschelwww.painandinjuryresolution.com before but in case you missed it and you are in NYC definitely check him out.

This week my focus is is doing less. I can barely get myself to say it. I feel like if I am doing less than I am not doing enough. Instead of focusing on the physical doing of things my goal is to do everything I am doing with less effort.  When Michael was working on my body it was something he kept saying to me over and over, relaxed strength, do what you are doing with less effort.  So I have gone back into my yoga education and I have started doing more breath work and relaxation techniques.  It also reminded me that relaxed strength or doing whatever I am doing with less effort is the difference between living from fear and faith.  When we take an action from faith there is no trying, forcing or pushing but an allowing a letting.  So my focus for my self this week, this month, this lifetime actually is to do everything with less effort, with more faith and allowing myself to be instead of trying to get myself to be.

The theme carried into my bodysoulsati class with the affirmations:
All that I seek
Is already inside me
I now unleash
excellence from within in me
I take inspired, consistent and committed action
I now have faith I have all that I need
And so it is.

I allow my mental, physical and emotional body to be healed. Breath in. Breath out.
And so it is.

Take inspired action today and do less but achieve more!
Peace and love,

If you want to be invited to sati events join newsletter at satilife.com Some exciting events coming up!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Are you preparing for the best or the worst?

 The topic of the month is “Your comfort zone of excellence”. Join me this month every Wednesday night on USTREAM or by phone for a 4 week  Thinner peace intensive. Step into your zone of excellence. Go to Satilife.com to register.  Over the 4 weeks you will have 4 group video / calls and a weekly assignment to work on.  The intention is to help you devote 30 days to choosing new habits that will become you new comfort zone. I hope you will join in!

Choosing faith over fear.
How much of your day do you spend worrying about what might go wrong or what might not work out in some way? If we spend time in worry and fear we are mentally preparing for the worst. In this state of mind we are not even available for the best outcome possible. We are literally preparing for the negative outcome.  When we choose faith then we are looking for and opening ourselves up to an answer and preparing for the best.  If you are someone who is often stressed, worrying or complaining you can consciously train yourself to shift your perspective of your situation and live a very different life.  If you have a good reason, a strong "why", you will find the strength from within to make the change.

Last year I had knee surgery and it has not helped. After two surgeries I found that there was not much relief. My knee was still getting swollen and my range of motion was limited.  I was beginning to feel like it was something I would just have to live with unless I wanted to get a knee replacement.  It was really starting to worry me I was totally giving up. I heard myself saying it was simply something I would have to live with. I caught myself feeling more irritated and sad. Finally I realized what I was doing and made a conscious decision to shift my perspective and open up to a new possibility.

I started thinking about my sister who had scleroderma and how often I reminded her that are no incurable illnesses just incurable people. She took on the mindset of "it is possible" and after her body had lost 75% mobility, she then regained 90% of it back. Unheard of for scleroderma patients. Her dr. recently told my sister that if she were to see her blood work now for the first time now she wouldn't even see the evidence of Scleroderma.  I went through my list of people I knew or knew of who had recovered from illnesses that were far worse than my knee pain and realized if I wanted to find an answer I would have to believe first that there is one instead of simply give up and live with the pain.

I started doing the vortex meditation every night for physical well-being. I changed my mind from it not being possible to asking for an answer. "I want to know how this can be healed".  I could feel my perspective shift, my mood lighten and body relax.

I know that if I want to see improved results than I have to improve my perspective, choose faith over fear and expect an answer.  Two things came my way, one was a new procedure that injects a lubricant into the knee that supposedly works on 90% of people. I started that treatment but realized that unless I found the cause then this procedure was not really going to heal my knee problem maybe just slow down the wear and tear.  

Three weeks ago my wife Kellen, who is a dentist, came home with a card from a patient who was raving about someone she was seeing who had helped her with many chronic injuries she had. Kellen asked for the card and told me about him when she got home.  I called and made an appointment.

Hi name is Michael Moschel. He is a structural therapist who has developed a system that is called individualized precise Structural Therapy that corrects poor posture and resolves muscular-skeletal dysfunction, bodily injury, acute and chronic pain. Success where all else has failed.  

I decided I would give it a try. After the second treatment I felt much better not only physically but even more importantly I felt my mind completely open up to the possibility that this is exactly what I need.  Even though it has only been two sessions and we may need many more, I feel so relieved. It is an amazing lesson when I think of how people we need come into our lives. Why would someone in a dentist chair tell her dentist about the body work she is getting? Then before my second session when I was telling Dyan, who works for me, about who I was going to see. She asked his name and said someone she trains has been seeing him for a while and thinks has had great results. It actually was good to know someone personally who was seeing him. It all felt so "coincidental". It somehow gave me a sense of peace that I was at the right place.

When make ourselves available for an answer by asking for guidance, surrendering the fear and the doubt and choosing faith.  

Every day I spend time before I go to sleep affirming "I give my physical and emotional body permission to be healed. I let go of any old patterns of thought that are obstacles to my perfect health and well-being.  I see my body bathed in divine light. My body now restores itself to a state of perfect health" Then I move into a few minutes of deep breathing and relaxation until I fall asleep. 

The reason I wanted to write this post is so that if you are experiencing any fear and find yourself losing hope that things will turn around, remember it cannot turn around until you shift your perspective of it.  If you give up hope then you will not have your mind available for an answer and even if an answer presents itself you most likely will not see it.  As soon shift your perspective of a situation your emotion shifts as well. When you are choosing faith over fear your will feel it immediately in your body and you will know you are on the track.

Ask yourself if you are choosing faith or fear. Ask for guidance. Expect an answer. Take inspired action.
Expect a positive result. Be thankful for the all that is going well and immerse yourself in gratitude and joy.

I hope this message helps you today. If you are in or near NYC and you want to make an appointment to see Michael you can reach him at Michaelsbodywork@live.com. His website is painandinjuryresolution.com

Ask yourself today, "Am I choosing fear or faith. Am I preparing for the best or the worst case?"

Breath in, breath out.

Monday, March 7, 2011

I had to let her go..The result of the difficult conversation

If you have been following the blog I just wanted to update you on my post on difficult conversations and the whistling nanny.  After much consideration I decided I should just let her go. What I mean is, I decided I should just let her go ahead and be herself and let her whistle.  After I thought about all the little pet peeves I have like when people snap their gum, make noise when they eat, don’t say the affirmations out loud in class, or don’t answer my emails in the frame of time I would like them to, I realized I will never rid the world of whistlers, gum snappers, loud chewers or people who are simply being themselves. I simply will have to change my self and practice what I preach, be yourself and inspire others to do the same.

So instead of asking my whistling nanny not to whistle I have simply decided to take it one day at a time. If I am doing some work at home and I feel I need the extra quiet, in the moment I will let her know what I need. In the meantime she is free to whistle. In fact, funny thing, I have caught myself whistling too.  It is amazing how something seemingly so small like this conversation can be a great opportunity to grow. I think everyone have great advice and I it is simply an in the moment opportunity to check myself and then follow through with the best I can do.

I also decided to find some great music to play in the house that all of us could enjoy, especially Olivia .I read a book called Power versus Force many years ago and was impressed by the impact music has on our energy and immune system not simply our emotions.  I don’t usually play music in the house because I hear it so much at work and I like silence but now I want Olivia to be exposed to fun music so I asked my friend and family music expert Lisa Pizza for some recommendations.  Her family band Laughing Pizza is dedicated to making music that is fun for the whole family. She has been my friend for years and I have always appreciated the dedication and the talent they have for making great music for but now I have a whole new appreciation for it. Here, check it out You can also join their facebook page. Love makes a family is one of my favorite songs!
 There are so many new responsibilities that come with being a mom and so many new fears to have to deal with and face.  Just when I thought I was getting good and dealing with my own fears my whole world has been rocked.  "Am I doing this right?" is always a question.  From her sleeping schedule to the foods she eats and the people and things we expose her to is always on my mind. 
The only thing I know for sure is "right" is that nothing matters as much as her feeling loved and that we do our best to be an example of that in our own lives in every way.  She certainly has an abundance of love from her two moms, her nanny and our friends and family and Kellen and I are certainly dedicated to exposing her to the best things we can.  

Maybe that is a good question for us all to ask ourselves when we have a question about what we are doing and if we are doing it "right" from feeding ourselves to the music or the people we expose ourselves to, "is this the most loving action I can take?" or "Am I making this decision from fear or love?"  

Leaving you with an affirmation from Ernest Holmes that soothes my hear. "No mistakes have been made, none are being made and none can be made"  You are free, go enjoy your day!

Hmm a good lesson thanks to my whistling nanny!
Don't forget this week only you get a 30% discount to the "Be Yourself bootcamp" A fun day filled with workouts and acting exercises led by me and an acting coach to help you feel the power of letting yourself be you.  Use the code BTIAdiscount

My sisters came to stay for a week and share some love! 

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I don't need to change the world, Just me. Phew!: It's not personal it's the law.

I don't need to change the world, Just me. Phew!: It's not personal it's the law.: "I had such an aha moment yesterday when I was reading a book called 'Love and the Law' by Ernest Holmes a teacher of metaphysics and an ..."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's not personal it's the law.

I had such an aha moment yesterday when I was reading a book called "Love and the Law" by Ernest Holmes a teacher of metaphysics and an authority on religious psychology.  It was when I read his explanation on the law of cause and effect and that it is a law, it cannot be broken, it is impersonal. The word impersonal particularly opened my mind.  The thoughts we think are the cause and there will always be an effect equal to the thought. We don't have to take it personally when things don't work out we simply have to change the cause, the thought.  We can now give up the feelings of unworthiness or the feelings of fear that it may not "work out" and we can simply see the effect, our life situation, and if we don't like it go to the source, our thinking, and become scientific about it. Change the thought.

That was really a new way of looking at it for me.  What gets me stuck sometimes is when I think if things aren't working out for me I must have either done something wrong or I am just not good enough. But when I step back and take an impersonal look at the situation and get to the root of the problem, my thinking, then I can simply work to uncover what fear or doubt or worry is still in place in my mind that had this effect manifest the way it did.

The other aha moment was also remembering that my work is never to make something happen but to allow it to happen. When I think that I have to make something happen I can only succeed to the extent that I believe in my own capabilities but if my only part of the co-creative process is to control what I give my attention to knowing that the law of cause and effect then takes over and Universal Mind then simply reflects back to me in physical manifestation of my thoughts then I can open my mind up to bigger possibilities. Did  you get that?

I have to say one of the practices that has made the biggest difference in my life over all is meditating.  The past month one of the assignments I gave the intenSati leaders as homework to do was to develop a meditation practice and I suggested "getting into the vortex" Esther and Jerry Hicks. I have given meditating as a assignment before but met with so much resistance and many never followed through. This assignment was given following a month of focusing on keeping your word to yourself so I think that made a big difference. The feedback and the breakthroughs they were sharing was inspiring to me!

It is something so simple yet so many people resist doing it.  If we live in a world governed by law and that means you can count on it, it is not personal, just like the law of gravity, you will fall not fly if you jump off a cliff, then the way to living a life you really want to live will depend on your ability to choose what you think and give your attention to.

"I will send forth my word and it shall not return void."

My number one suggestion for anyone who really wants to make changes in their life is to start a meditation practice. We have been given the key to the kingdom of living a life of health, wealth, joy and success and access to it is choosing thoughts that affirm it. You are always at cause and you are living the effect. I think that is great news!

I suggest if you are beginning a meditation practice to start with ''Getting into the vortex" it's a 15 minute guided meditation and it's powerful.


I am not good at having difficult conversations. What would you do?

(check out www.satilife.comPeaceLoveWorld my new favorite clothing line! Scroll down and click on the ad)

I was at a meeting the other day with a new clothing company I LOVE!! Peaceloveworld and everyone in the meeting was calling me "Patty".  Every time I heard the name Patty I felt myself cringe a little. Was I going to have to tell everyone in the meeting I don't like to be called Patty? Not only do I not like it, I hate it!  I was checking out the new line at the Javits center.  I am looking forward to a long-term relationship with them so I talked myself into saying it. "It's ok, I thought, I have to tell them, how can I possibly go on and on being called Patty? I am going to have to say it sooner or later I guess I better say it now".  So I stop the meeting and just say, "can I just make a quick announcement and say this to everyone all at once, I really don't like to be called Patty, would you please call me Patricia."  Alina the designer said, "I don't call you Patty, I call you Patricia".  "No you definitely call me Patty. Everyone looked a little puzzled but enthusiastically confirmed they would never call me Patty. I was so proud of myself for speaking up. I felt like wow, I am really getting better at having these difficult conversations. Then after the meeting I hear "Patty! can you come here?" I looked up stunned that someone had already forgotten and realized, "OH NO! GULP! Patty is their assistant. They hadn't been calling ME Patty! Well, I still get points for speaking up!

Scratching the surface on being myself was easier than really going to the next level.  I guess just like anything it’s the last 5lbs that really take all of your commitment and excellence.  Where in my life have I stopped at following through completely on something because I it was just easier not to have the difficult conversations.  I am instead working on getting better at having difficult conversations with grace.

When it comes to being myself 100% one area that has been so hard for me all my life is to speak my mind. When something bothers me to say it instead of hold it in and let it build up.  On a scale of 1-10, I am measuring myself against Kellen who says absolutely everything, anytime, to anyone, asks for everything she wants and gives her opinion if she has one whether you asked for it or not.  It is one of the things I love so much about her.  I sometimes cringe and say, “how can you say that!!?!  I am about a 4. I used to be a 0!

The conversations that are easy to have are the ones with my students or my teachers or people who pay me to give them my opinion, feedback, support and ideas but otherwise I get stuck!

One came up for me the other day and I really wonder what you would do? It seems like such a silly thing and I don’t even want to write about it because will I look like a grouch or will it seem so silly that you wouldn’t even think twice about saying something.  Ok here is the scene:

Olivia is now 5 ½ months old. We found great help that I love. I work at home most of the time and I really needed someone who I felt comfortable around and I would be happy to have in my home, with our daughter and in my workspace. We found her.  Recently when I am home she whistles while she works and it bugs me.  I don’t play music and usually have the TV off.  I like it peaceful.  When she started the whistling I was like Ugh! Seriously. Now what. Do I yell out, STOP WHISTLING! Like I really want to do.  As soon as I thought the thought I was then thinking, “are you kidding? Really? You are really going to tell her she can’t whistle? That is like the footloose movie where the church banned dancing!

So what do I do? It is shared space and it is my home. I know that she is NOT going to mind, she is the sweetest but is it really something I can ask someone not to do? If I don’t say it then that is worse right?  Wouldn't I want someone to just say it?  I would think it was ridiculous for them not to say it. 

I think I am worried about her feeling badly and I am imagining her going home to tell her husband that her boss told her to stop whistling today!

Oh it makes me kind of giggle and kind of not.  This morning Kellen and I were getting ready for the day in the bedroom and we hear her whistling in the other room.  I asked Kellen “really, am I going to look like a scrooge?  She didn’t know what that meant, so I just laughed and dropped it. It obviously doesn’t bother her or else she would have said it long ago!! 

Seriously I haven’t decided if I am going to have the conversation yet, I have been trying to do things to have her naturally not want to whistle like blasting the music so loud that she can’t whistle or going into the other room and shutting the door.  See what I mean about blowing things out of proportion when the conversation could have been had last week!  It’s like when someone is snapping their gum.  I try, try , try not to let it bother me except for once when I was shopping with my friend George for my wedding dress and he was snapping his gum and after 15 minutes we were at the counter looking at earings at Saks and I couldn’t take it and in front of the sales woman I put my hand up to his mouth and said “give it to me!!!!!”.  He has never let me forget that. We laugh about it all the time! 

Well I seriously needed some advice on this so I emailed Laruen Zander from Handel Group personal coaching a friend who has also coached me through many difficult conversations and asked for her advice.  (btw you can get her info off my website)
Here is her reply:

With most difficult conversations we advise tactful honesty. We teach our clients to balance "grace" and "wisdom," the grace takes care of the other person, the wisdom takes care of you. You have to make sure you get your point across, but in a way the person can hear it without getting too defensive. For example, in this case Julie, you know how much I love your work and appreciate you and I know I can be very picky but there is this one thing that is bothering me, are you open to discussing it?" When she says yes..."It's embarrassing to admit something so petty, but the sound of whistling really bothers me, do you think you could limit that in earshot of me?"  Then listen to her feelings on the subject.
Step 1-set up a time to talk, ask permission
Step 2-frame the conversation with big picture of how you feel about and what you want for the relationship (positive)
Step 3-tell the truth
Step 4-listen to their response and be willing to change your position

Obviously I need to work on this area. I am still not sure I am going to have the conversation yet. What would you do?


Monday, February 28, 2011

I heard so many excuses today. Good thing I ignored them!

My top three favorite excuses I tried to use on myself today and probably would have if I didn't write my commitment in this blog:
1. But I have meat in the fridge maybe I should wait until I eat it all!
2. I can pretend I meant that I would eat fish, fish isn't meat. I even looked it up in the dictionary, oh yes I did! How do you define "meat"? kind of like the Jessica Simpson quote while eating tuna "is this chicken or fish? I know it is tuna but it says "chicken of the sea"
3.This is not a good month to actually do this, Kellen's mom is coming and I love her cooking. Maybe I should repost and say I am waiting until next month.

I did get through the day meat and dairy free. At about 12:00 when I finally decided I AM doing it and put my hand up to my inner excuse making self, my inner excuse making self got quiet, especially after I ate an amazing sweet potato and I made a beautiful salad, pictured above for solid proof. I drank some green lemonade and actually felt more satisfied than I expected.  Although now it is way past my bedtime and I am getting hungry. One thing I NEVER used to do until I met Kellen was go to bed hungry. It was my favorite thing to do after a long day, curl up in bed with a nice big meal and then slip into dream land. Then I met Kellen and she would say, "it's too late to eat" gulp! Really? Can I marry someone who goes to be hungry? Then I got jealous that she could go to bed hungry and wake up feeling great that I joined the "go to bed hungry" team and I like it.
(Please don't think that means I starve myself! It basically means no eating after 7ish)

On the business front I had a funny "coincidence" ( I don't believe anything is a coincidence actually) I got an email from the learning annex saying they teamed up with USTREAM ( who I have been looking into as an option for live streaming classes) and would I participate in leading a class for them for their live streaming.  Ask and you shall receive!
I definitely took some action on this today and am certain I will make my goal of live streaming classes by June 1st.  "I now allow all the perfect people, opportunities and finances to come to me".  Thank you in advance!

1. Can I conceive of this being done? YES!
2. Am I certain my desire is in alignment with good? YES!
3. If it is then nothing is against me and everything is for me. AMEN! And so it is!

It is done unto me as I believe and I believe it is done and I am done now too!
Got to go to bed, seriously might eat if I stay up any longer!

My judgemental snob is in the house. BTNA

You can reach Kat at paixlove.blogspot.com 

Today was a great day. I have to admit that starting this blog has been so much fun.  It is only two days of totally revealing myself and I feel different already.   After I wrote the first entry I was sitting at the computer and wondering if I was really going to press send.  As soon as I pressed send I started giggling and in 5 seconds Kellen texted me to say, “Baby I think someone hacked into your computer I got a weird text”! “OMG” I thought “perfect!” that is exactly what I wanted, to show another side of who I am. The “real” me is all things. The real me gets sad, jealous, judgemental, worried, angry and bitchy.  I grew up  saying “yes” to everyone so I wouldn’t have to speak my mind.  It led to so many issues of isolation, eating disorder, addiction and depression. I started the work of telling the truth, the whole truth with Lauren Zander years ago and have recently had an incredible shift by continuing to go even deeper.  I wonder what will happen now? I am curious to see the real me. 

How many times have I heard or read in the new age books or books of healing that loving yourself is the key. Honestly that statement has always annoyed me. There must be something there but what does it mean? I started diving into what it really means to love myself and to be myself and actually living the question, “Who am I”?

A while ago I was doing a meditation and I was mentally affirming “I want to know the Truth”  After a while I heard loud and clear, “You will know the truth to the extent you are willing to speak the truth” Gulp! Here we go!

My judgemental, snob is in the house.
Kellen calls people who talk, talk, talk, but never follow through, BTNA, big talker no action people, I call them whiners and complainers.  Of course there are things that upset us, bug us, that we don’t like about our life, our body, our environment but if we simply sit around complaining about it we add to the problem we aren’t improving it. Complaining is not an action!  BTIA is a big talker IN ACTION! And it is someone who can move their life forward by getting themselves to take action, action that is consistent with who you want to be. (according to me and I am not an expert)

My Pet Peeve
It annoys me, like nails on a chalk- board when I see people post quotes, send quotes or talk in quotes.  From my limited perception I judge them and think to myself, “great quote but how about living what you are posting!”  If you are spouting off about how your thoughts create your reality how about applying it and creating a reality that is blowing your socks off!  If someone answers me in a quote, unless it is someone I KNOW is living it, I internally roll my eyes and want to gag and think BTNA.  It especially annoys me when I post something and then people chime in and agree and post a quote to show they are on the same wavelength. (snob) If I don’t think you are living it I will give you an internal eye-roll and click “delete”.  I never really voiced that pet peeve until last night.  I was telling Kellen about how much it bugged me and then I thought, this is tomorrow’s blog entry.

Well after I let myself  say it out loud about it, after  expressing my BTNA gag reflex I remembered listening to a talk from Michael Beckwith and he was talking about living on the edge and if you are not, you are wasting space. I loved it.  We are not here to stay the same but to keep raising our bar. Gulp!  Realization! I am bugged because somewhere I am not living what I am posting.  Even as I write that I hear myself say, “yes you are! You are doing great!” Pat on the back, pat, pat! But that voice inside my head that tells me “no! Don’t worry! You are great! Your life is really something for people to look up to already. There are few people in the world walking their talk like you are.  Come on!  Sit back relax!” This is the voice that if I listen to will have me right back at living a life of mediocrity. It’s my inner snob, my inner critic, my small mind.  I want to push the envelope.  I want to leave this world feeling like YES!  

So that is what this blog is about. I am catching my inner snob, my voice of mediocrity and ratting her out. If I leave that voice quietly taking up space in my mind it will keep me from finding the real me.

Snob no more! By taking off my title as expert and going back to a beginner mindset I commit to expand my mind instead and stop patting myself on the back!”. My life has improved, I am doing great, but nothing stays the same so if I don’t take another step forward and I don’t upgrade, I will actually be going backwards because life will keep progressing and I won’t.  Hence, Living on the edge, the edge of the next breakthrough! Thank you Rev Beckwith! Action I will take to prove it? Every time I have that feeling of YUK! I will simply do an internal bow of gratitude because it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.  Actions I am taking this month.

1.     Get myself to raise my bar this month in the area of business and nutrition. I was reading Kris Car’s Crazy, Sexy, Diet book this morning and after two or three pages I was already inspired and realized this is one area I can raise my bar.  My small voice screams! “you are doing great! Come on! Give yourself a break! You lost lots of weight. You are at your goal weight. Ease up a little. Be nice to yourself”. I now put my hand up as if to demonstrate STOP!  I am not listening to you! So I am going to go for it this month. I am going vegetarian no meat, no dairy.  I just finished 3 days of the BluePrintCleanse and loved it but keep going Patricia! A little too much meat on my plate these days! I’m not totally proud! How do I know this will lead me to a breakthrough? Because I will be uncomfortable. It is not what I have been doing.  It will not be easy.   I will have to make an effort to shift from what is easy in order to improve and not be a BTNA and shift myself to a BTIA! Moving forward! I will keep you posted on facebook page “I love my body”

2.     Living on the edge action #2 will be in business.  My goal, which I have been talking about for years and haven’t done YET is to find a way to live stream classes.  I keep blabbing about it and I ask a few people for advice then I lose my fire because it just seems too complicated.  I want the quality to be amazing and I want to be able to have classes all over the world.  My original goal was to have leaders all over the world but that is not moving fast enough for me so I will find another way to supplement it.  Small voice speaking up and saying “it is going to be too hard, too much work, not worth it” is the one I am NOT listening to.  I am listening to my yearning to do it.  I really want it!! If I can conceive of it, it can be done.  (Blah blah blah, get going! Stop spouting off spiritual principles and start getting into action) I will have it up and running by June 1, 2011.

Thanks for listening.
The real Patricia Moreno

Friday, February 25, 2011

It's time to reveal myself and speak my mind and you might not like it.

Since I don't want  you to follow me then I feel free to tell you the truth about what I have been up to for the past few weeks.  I needed to take some time off from teaching to get some "work" done.

2011 it’s my time
To reveal myself
And speak my mind
I can feel my joy,
I can feel my power,
I can feel my strength,
I’m on fire!
I am inspired to be
The best that I can be
That’s being me
Exactly as I am
I am enough,
I have enough
I have here to give it,
I am willing to live it
Trying is tiring
Being is freeing.

I wrote this intenSati series the month before I was about to take off for a few weeks. My daughter was 5 months old and there was some “work” I wanted to get done and I was afraid to reveal it, to tell the truth about it and I used this series to help me build the courage to be myself and reveal myself. One of the things Kat said to me on our first call was, stop trying to be yourself, just be yourself. What? Well I was getting my chance.

My students know a lot about me. I am very revealing and let them in on what is going on in my life.  It is certainly not always not easy, in fact it is the most challenging part about leading intensati. I had been on a high during my pregnancy and even afterwards I hadn't been really challenged by having to reveal anything to deep in a while. Well that time had clearly come to an end.  First let me clarify what I mean by “getting some work done”.  I was taking the time off to get a tummy tuck and have breast augmentation.  It was something I wanted to do even before having a baby. From years of gaining and losing weight the skin on my belly was very lose and saggy and I told myself that my goal was after I have a baby I was going to do it.  Since I was going in I thought I might as well do what I really wanted to do and that was lift my little size A to a perky B/C.  But my rule is to live out loud.  My mantra is be yourself, do what you want to do, be who you want to be and give others the freedom to do the same and yikes I certainly wanted to change my mind about my rule.  I did try to think of ways I could book an out of town “appearance” and just show up “refreshed” but I knew  I would never get away with it so it was either give up the surgery or tell the truth.  

Even though it wasn’t a hard decision between the two, I was so scared to tell the truth that I waited until the week before I was taking time off before I even mentioned it.  In the beginning of the week I shared about it and was pleasantly surprised at the support and love that I received.  Being a recovering people pleaser, the positive response did make me feel good but I was still really nervous. I had 2 more classes to go.  The next class was not as outwardly enthusiastic or positively responsive. There was a look of confusion on most of their faces, dead silence and even a few people hung out after class to try and convince me to change my mind.  Then the physical effect of the fear of speaking up caught up with me and by the last class before my time off I was conveniently getting laryngitis.  My voice was nearly completely gone.  I texted Kat and asked her to work on me and she texted me back, “breath deeply and affirm “I am free to ask for what I want and to express myself”

The next day she told me the energy in my throat was blocked and we talked through the fear I was having. The funny thing was I felt like I was having a session with myself! It is almost harder to hear someone tell you your own words back to you, it is humbling and again reminds me the importance of not calling myself an expert. I showed up to my last class voiceless. I had shared with this group the week prior so I felt a little 'off the hook" and the laryngitis was perfect that it gave me a great way to shift the attention.  Instead of sharing I wrote on the mirror and asked them to read it out loud as I wrote it.  I was actually writing the script that I wanted to hear them say to me and they beautifully recited it and I took it in. I wrote:

"I love you. I want you to be happy. I want you to want what you want and make no apologies for it. When you do you inspire me to do the same." Ah perfect! It felt so beautiful and freeing and led to a truly powerful and amazing class. I had no voice and it didn't matter. Everyone else took on being a leader instead of a follower.  What a magical moment and a beautiful lesson.

 So now I am sitting at home feeling so happy that I had the surgery and wondering where else have I not let myself want what I want?  Where have I been so afraid to tell people the truth about me to the point that there is such a powerful physical reaction? How is going even deeper in revealing myself going to affect my life, my health and my happiness?  It remains to be seen but I believe it will be well worth it.

In this past 2 months I have felt such a renewed sense of inspiration. I feel like something inside of me has been reignited.  I am feeling a shift happen simply by not looking at myself as an expert and taking off that title and instead calling myself a beginner with so much yet still to learn about myself, about how I live, about what I really want and who I really am. I am looking forward to finding out what I have to offer, to say, to bring forth that no one else has done before. 

So I urge you, not to follow me or anyone else but follow your heart, follow your own guidance.  Want what you want, love who you want to love, do what you want to do, say what you want to say and reveal your true self to the world. The truth is some people will like you and some people won’t.  Some people will applaud you and at the same time others will boo you.  If you are following your heart and willing to always be a beginner in the search for your Truth you will be busy looking within and realize “their” approval you can go without, it’s the approval of yourself that matters first. Simply write the famous words of the great Dr. Seuss on your wall, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”. 

STOP following! Lead!