Friday, May 20, 2011

Once again, the lesson is HONOR YOUR FEELINGS!

I was thinking today about all the people in my life who help me in so many ways and thought of calling them my dream team. They are people who are experts in their field and in some way help me achieve my dreams, help me evolve, grow, develop and take action in my life.  My dream team changes over the years but I always one.  
A couple of weeks ago I called Kat,(She is an empath and energy worker) definitely a member of the dream team, to get some insight as to why I kept repeating an issue around money.  Her message was very clear. She said "You have to honor your feelings, honor your knowing and say no when you need to. You can be empathetic but be more detached".  These were the key messages. It was a short phone call but it was exactly what I needed to hear.  Since then I have been looking back at my day and making a mental list of any place I didn't honor my feelings.  A few days after I had this call with Kat I was watching Oprah, (Oh yeah, Oprah is on my dream team too.)  She was interviewing Fergie and showing a clip of her talking to Dr. Phil and he said to her, 'you are addicted to approval", gulp...I am too.  That is the reason I don't speak up, I don't always say what I need, or really want. I get scared that someone won't like me. It is so childish when I think about it yet no matter how childish it sound when I say it, I do it.  So in an effort to evolve, mature and change I am going to keep a daily list.  I eventually won't have to keep a list because instead of not honoring my feelings I will eventually honor them and speak up.  In an effort to stay conscious and aware of where I am and am not I am making a daily list.

I will be fairly vague because It is not about the other person, it is about me.
My baby sister was doing something I didn't like and I didn't say and mentally said I was going to drop it and ended up telling Kellen about it anyway.
Someone I do business with asked me to do something I didn't think was fair and I did it and ended up holding it against them.
Someone lied to me and I let it slide and didn't tell them I knew they were lying
I didn't speak up when I needed to in regards to needing personal time

I did have some breakthroughs
I did ask for everything I wanted in a business deal ( not sure yet if I got it)
I reached out for help on a project to two people and was ok with getting a No. I got 1 no but 1 YES!
I wrote an email to someone who I was upset with and told the whole truth
I said no to some people who asked for my time and I simply said I didn't have the time

These are just a few things that recently happened and I am being general but as they come up I will share with you what they are in more details as an exercise to stay present and get that it is way too often that I don't trust my feelings, honor my feelings or speak up when I need something because I am addicted to approval.  I ready to be done with that. I know I have said it before, in fact it was the very first blog post.  One thing I have learned that has been so beneficial from my dream team member Lauren Zander is getting your negative traits and outing them is the way to get rid of them.  I will be more specific in the future but this is a good start for now.

The other day before class a student said that she was realizing that she loses weight for other people. When she is going to do something like a photo shoot or an appearance she gets strict and then afterwards she is not as careful and it made her sad to think that she was losing the weight for others and not for herself. I spent so many years doing that! 

We hired a new babysitter and she begins on Monday.  Kellen and I were talking about the things that are really important to us that we learned from babysitter number 1 that we have to be specific and clear about what is important to us.  Here we go again! This time I will speak up! 

Hope you are honoring your feelings! If not, practice doing your own list for the next month or so. If you need coaching reach out to for some coaching. 

If you want to reach out to anyone on my dream team the ones I am working with now
Lauren Zander
Michael Moschel, working on my body and especially my knee, 

Have a great weekend!

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